I sit in the depths of madness
Madness, a wyrm which stomach you sit in, feeling the waters hit my face
While sitting in it's stomach, I saw the abyss at my face, fetal position within the shower
Decay, decaying, decaying... Im dying, im dying, im dying, can't you feel this death
there were so few friends that tried to keep contact with me throughout the years, and now i find myself slowly decaying in the pit of madness, my teeth are rotting, I have holes throughout the rows of them
I was standing in the shower, then sat on the ground as the water splashed on my eyes, I kept them closed
I saw myself in the wyrm, my human body, my human body, as it changed and undergone a change, to reach towards the abyss, I grew wings, I changed to more, I became more than animal, too becoming machine
my fate is lonely, my fate is lonely, my fate is lonely, to which the abyss kept calling to me, I sat on the inside innards of a great beast, seeing it's guts, seeing it's sharp teeth
Ur decaying, ur decaying, ur decaying, to which it kept telling me
Im decaying, decaying, decaying, is there any hope for me? Is there any hope?To next it replied, "all hope lies, within being buried in the grand cosmos, small and insignificant one, u still revolt, you still claw, you still rebel, but why?"
I begin crying at my desk, I want so badly to just cry further and further, I want so badly to scream, they tell stories of mouths and not having mouths to scream, oh but I am already controlled so, screaming would only bound me to being tied down in mental asylum, them asking "why are you screaming?", to which I reply, the very mad things all around and all to be seen
they only look at me puzzled, i am alone, then the wyrm tells me again
to fly and touch the stars, feel the cosmos assert themselves down ur spine, the planets rolling down, electrical sparks of existence, oh how badly you want to escape it's mouth, oh so badly you escape it's mouth, but flying alone, "who else has wings like you dragur?", to which the wyrm tells me
I cry, I weep, I roam the stars alone, trying my best to keep a smile, while i can feel my heart shake, the holes in my teeth entrenching deeper calling for my decay, one tooth filled to the brim with a black infection, my foot has a swollen illment in the toe, where blood vessels are harmed
Oh for how many years I've been decayying, at one point forcing myself to throw up from extreme anxiety, oh how my psyche just falls, just falls, just falls, but now, I sit, staring into the stars, hearing them, the earth screams ever louder, ever louder, ever louder, ever louder, ever louder, ever louder
im suffering, im suffering, im suffering, but im hoping, with complete unbelief and not knowing if anything is real, that i may be myself
My mother has killed me, and my father has abandoned me, standing on the roofof the cosmic firmaments, this was the only way to live, at least, my mother's dead image serves her better, then when she tried to stab me 12 times with a knife in my chest
Decay, decay, decay, can you beat the decay, or will you succumb, back to nothingness, will you keep rebelling, will you keep striking the stone against the stone, or will the stone, strike you back into nothing?
I sit on the bathtub floor, feeling the steam of water hitting my head, hitting on my head, hitting on my head, i stare down the face of extreme emotions, just another normal day, i feel sure what happens, but i don't know at all, i don't know, i don't know, who knows, so why not just throw urself into the stars, and try to
I threw myself into the stars, and Im here all alone, where are you?
Were u too caring of urself to care? Staring at me from afar, or did you decide to join me friends, in the current of chaos that surrounds us all? Did you face ur horrors, or succumb to their horror?